Sunday, June 20, 2010

Starting Off

I'm 5' tall and 142 pounds. I have a small frame and, there should be 40 pounds less of me. Give or take a few. It depends on muscle mass and stuff. Anyway. I'm tired of being flabtastic. I'm tired of not wanting to buy new clothes because....what fits and doesn't accentuate my protruding belly is 1. ugly 2. is too old for me. There's just no way to get around it: I look like I've still got a baby in mah belly. Shopping for clothes is traumatic and depressing and I hate doing it.
This is fat bashing. I just want to be comfortable in my skin. I want to have a strong healthy body and be able to RUN. I want the health benefits and stress reduction that come with exercise. I'm a high string individual, easily stressed out and prone to free floating anxiety. On days I work out hard, I am unstoppable; I am a goddess. So! Here I go, starting over again on the fitness quest.
I'll be doing the Couch to 5K, yoga (it should be daily), and 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels. I'm starting this blog to share and document my progress. Also, I think it'll probably help me stay accountable.

I know that there's a lot of push out there to embrace yourself the way you are, love your curves, etc. But for me this would be a cop out. Because I can tell myself daily that I am beautiful the way I am, and my husband would tell me I'm sexy no matter how big I get because he loves me....I just wouldn't feel it, wouldn't believe it. Not living the way I do right now. But working out hard, sweating and being sore, damn. Still being fat, accomplishing that yoga pose and running for even the pitifully short amount of time I can run? THAT makes me feel dead sexy. Well. After a shower anyway.

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